Nation Insanity
by gannondorksucks101
Summary: England accidentally casts a spell that turns the world upside down. Now its up to the nations least affected by all the crazy to restore sanity to the world. 2 ps,and aliens, get involved along with mustaches, crossdressing and Romania. what will happen! find out! WARNING:parings, swearing, crazyness oocness I don't own hetalia
1. Chapter 1

**Author note: warning for all who read this. this was a random story that had jumped into my head. There will be oocness it is possibly done for comedic purposes. I will happily accept requests and ideas, no lemon and for a list of parings I'm not comfortable writing look at my profile. Flames not appreciated, if you have any helpful suggestions pm me or leave it in a review I will fix it to the best of my ability. I DO NOT OWN HETALIA!**

**Nation Insanity**

The night was dark, the full moon shone. The flickering candles burned changing direction with the slightest breeze. The dim, old room filled with dust, Britain's nose crinkled holding back a sneeze as he pulled out an old spell book.

"This will show them not to doubt my powers!" he huffed under his breath while opening the book and flipping through pages. "Ah, here it is" he said while pointing at one of the spells. "Let's see here." He paused to read before taking a deep breath and started to say the incantation.

"" His hands gave off a strange orange glow before fading. "Huh, that's strange... it should have done something. Let me read that stupid title again!" he stared at the text "Shit! we're all fucked i"ve got to hurry and warn the others before . . ."

It was a bright and happy morning for Japan. He had gotten up from his restful sleep to prepare his breakfast. Then he heard it, a loud pounding on his door, reluctantly Japan opened his door to...

"WE HAVE TO GO ARU!" China yelled while trying to make a grab for Japan's hand.

"What's going on?"Japan said confused while backing away.

"NO TIME ARU!" China yelled while trying to grab onto Japan "According to my new boss we must become one to rule the world with the army of darkness!"

"What?" Japan said, completely terrified. He did what anyone would do, run like continually ran until he smacked into what felt like a wall with a scarf on it. It was Russia and boy did he look scarier than usual.

"Hello Japan. Are you here to become one first?" He said with an evil grin "all will become one!" Japan promptly screamed then ran to a place he hoped would contain sanity.

It was a rude awakening for Austria, normally he slept uninterrupted by the crazies, but today was the day luck had left him. A loud crashing sound alerted him; something was up. His bedroom door blasted open. Hungary stood there with a frightening aura while holding a camera and frying pan.

"MUST PAIR EVERYTHING!" She yelled, raising her pan. The words sent chills down Austria's spine; he got up and ran for it. He swerved around her, knocking over a vase, which blocked her path. He winced when the vase broke, but one must sacrifice for the greater good. He managed to get down the stairs before he stopped in his tracks. Prussia was raiding his kitchen.

"Damn it." Austria muttered, looking for an escape. Prussia turned around noticing that he was caught. He didn't have to say a word before Austria had made a beeline for the door. Austria continued running, to the closest possibly-safe place.

Lithuania, by far, doesn't have what one would call normal days, but today takes the cake on crazy. He was lying in his bed, doing nothing. A large slam of his door hitting the wall. Belarus entered, casting a scary aura of death.

"IF BIG BROTHER WANT YOU TO BE ONE I'LL GIVE HIM ONE! LET ME CUT OFF YOUR DAMN LEGS!" She yelled while holding up a large knife, eyes flashing menacingly. Lithuania desperately hurled himself out the window to get away from the crazy lady, thankfully he managed not to die. Lithuania got up giving a gasp of pain as he felt pain in his hip.

"Why today universe? Why me, why not someone else?" Lithuania said while wincing as he tried to run. .

"LITHY!" Lithuania winced at the voice he turned around. It was Poland in a skirt and holding up what suspiciously looked like a blue dress. "I like found this and you like, just have to try it on!" Poland said moving in closer. Lithuania turned back around, and ran painfully for the only place he could think of that might contain help.

The sun was up and it was a peaceful day for Switzerland, he was sipping a cup of tea. Liechtenstein was staying at Hungary's house leaving him alone. Then, a loud knocking and banging sound interrupted his peace. He had half a mind to just shoot first and ask questions later, but decided to go down and answer the door. Switzerland opened his door, looked at the scene before him, then slammed his door shut without a word.

"No! Let us in please!" Japan called out

"Let us in! You won't believe how crazy it is out here!" Lithuania said, banging on the door

desperately.

"No" Switzerland said firmly. "Not only will it affect my neutrality, If I let you guys in, whatever the hell is chasing you all will come here too!"

Austria sighed "You've made me do it, I know you've named one of your guns Lola and sleep with it at night! Everyone looked at Austria confused. "And, uh, Hungary told me."

Switzerland sighed, unlocked his door, and let them in.

"Switzerland." Austria said.

"Austria!" Switzerland glared.

"Switzerland?" Austria questioned.

"Austria!"Switzerland said louder

"Japan" Japan said looking confused.

A loud crashing sound made them look towards the living room. Switzerland pulled out his gun.

Austria looked in horror "Did you just pull that out of your..."

"I have my ways, now quiet." Switzerland motioned them to the side. He looked around the corner. To his horror there was France, wearing nothing but a rose and twirly mustache. Switzerland looked back towards the group, his left eye twitching. "I'm going to need some brain bleach and one of you to knock me in the head to forget that"

"Uh... Switzerland I don't think it works that way" Japan said.

An annoying laugh revealed that their presence was known.

"Ohonhonhonhonhonhon!" France grinned, looking super creepy. Everyone stared in pure horror. Another loud crash alerted them to another person in the house.

"Is that how everyone enters? Why can't someone use the damn door?" Switzerland said, very frustrated with all of this.

"It's a crack fic, what else do you expect?" Austria replied calmly.

"NOT SO FAST FRANCE!" Hungary screamed, climbing from the wreckage.

"Oh, so you have found out my evil plan have you?"France said, twirling his mustache.

"YES! AND I HERE TO STOP YOU!" She yelled pulling out her frying pan "I WILL SAVE

THE BUTTER KINGDOM!" She yelled, slamming the pan into France's face. France lay sprawled on the floor, out cold. A piece of paper flew out of his hand, Lithuania quickly reached out and grabbed it. Hungary advanced forward. Switzerland, realizing he still had his gun, was about to take aim.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, she's had worse injuries and killed a man for less" Austria

said while backing away.

"I've got you all right where I want you" Hungry said, grinning devilishly and coming in

closer.

'This is our only hope' Japan though quickly. He grabbed Switzerland.

"Sorry about this." Japan said while moving closer.

"Sorry about wha- mmmpphh!" Switzerland was cut off as Japan kissed him.

Hungary, upon seeing such a sight had gotten a massive nosebleed and fainted, leaving the path to escape clear. Switzerland and Japan pulled apart, red as tomatos.

"Uh . . ." Austria tried to close his mouth.

"RUN!" Switzerland yelled. They all snapped out of the awkwardness before running out

and as far away as possible from that house.

Meanwhile, In AMERICA...

America was sitting upon the couch eating a hamburger while watching Spongebob.

End of chapter 1


	2. Chap 2 Bend the Fork

_**(a/n) I do not own Hetalia thanks to all my reviewers let me know of any mistakes, editing suggestions, or requests flames not appreciated read and review enjoy**_

_**Nation Insanity chapter 2**_

_**Bend the Fork**_

**Meanwhile within Europe**

Germany was eating some worst with his shticky friend. A knock at the door interrupted his meal.

"I'll be back shticky friend" Germany said while going to answer the door.

"Hello?" He said while opening it. Italy was outside holding up a plate of pasta.

"Hello Germany do you want some pasta?" Italy grinned happily.

"No thanks" Germany replied "I'm almost done eating."

In the moment after Germany said that, Italy's grin went from "happy," to "the skies shall rain with bloodshed and death."

"You will eat the pasta!" He said, his aura getting more deadly. "Or I will SHOVE IT in a TUBE down your THROAT!"

Germany slammed the door shut and started to nail the windows and doors with wood.

**Meanwhile in who?**

It was a peaceful quiet day, Canada was walking outside thinking to himself. " I wonder if there was some magic potion or something that would make other notice me?" he said aloud. He continued pacing around when it hit him. "That's it, I'll make exactly that" He ran off to try his idea.

**Back Within Europe**

Japan and the gang were hiding behind a bush outside of a forest.

"We really need better cover" Austria stated while looking around.

"No what really need is answers!" Switzerland exclaimed while slamming his fist on his palm. "But how can we get them with all this crazy?" While all of this was going on Lithuania had pulled out the paper and was reading it, it was receipt.

"hey guys look at this" he said motioning to the receipt. "This is so weird" Austria looked at it

"Tell me about it what idiot pays 20$ for a handlebar mustache"

"no the shop at the top!" Lithuania snapped "The Oracles Magical Emporium One Stop Shop for Everything Including answers"

"Wow that's convenient" Japan said slightly surprised

"yeah too easy" Switzerland said while looking around "It looks like a trap to me"

Japan looked at him his face expressionless "It feels like hope for me, I mean what do we have to lose?" Switzerland looked at him

"a lot actually"

"I miss my piano" Austria said sadly.

**In Greece**

Greece slept on with his cats by his side

**Back to Plot**

Our sorry group of nations continued walking on, not stopping for fear of meeting some undesirable situations. Then a loud call made them stop in their tracks.

"LITHY!" Lithuania cringed.

"oh shit it's Poland!" he cried and tried to look for a place to hide, he gave up on the tree and hid behind Switzerland instead. Poland was advancing closer still holding the blue dress.

"What should we do?" asked Japan while keeping a straight face.

"I have seen him steadily chase a man down till he collapsed" Switzerland said "There is nothing we can do he will follow us forever!"

"Lithy like please like try this on" Poland said moving closer " aren't we friends?" he asked putting on a puppy face.

"uh oh crap sure fine I'll do it!" Lithuania reluctantly said moving out from his hiding place.

"Yay!" Poland exclaimed. Lithuania looked toward the sky,

"SCREW YOU UNIVERSE OR GOD OR WHOEVER THOUGHT OF THIS CRUEL PUNISHMENT!" He screamed to the heavens he got up from his knees "you guys turn around!"

"What just happened?" Austria asked confused.

"Just go with it" Japan said. They all turned around, Japan tried to curiously look

"TURN AROUND!" Lithuania yelled

"sorry" Japan said. They waited a bit before Lithuania finally said.

"Okay it's on happy?" he exclaimed

"yay!" Poland giggled

_Poland has join your party +55 fabulous points +6 fashion -2 grammar_

Japan looked up,

"not again" he said

"I'm not going to ask" was all Switzerland said in response to that. They all continued traveling and then there it was. The shop in the middle of a field was dark and its large sign told them all they needed to know. They walked into the weirdest place ever, the walls hung with strange things top to bottom, heavy velvet curtains covered the windows, the air had the smell of.

"I like smell drugs in here" Poland sniffed. Everyone stared at him before shrugging it off. A creepy kid in a corner was sitting there bending forks with his mind.

"Woah that's like totally cool! Show me like how to do it!" Poland said excitedly.

"It's easy" the boy said "There is no fork"

"Okay" Poland said he then concentrated really hard. There was a large rip as everything went weird and acid like.

"That's good enough Poland" Lithuania "please put the the space time continuum back together" Poland stopped and everything went normal. Austria started to ask

" What was tha. . .?"

"Just don't just don't" Switzerland shook his head.

"Hello friends!" a voice called "Welcome" A cloaked figure entered the room. " I am the oracle" Austria looked surprised

"Romania?"

"Wait a minute how the fuck did we get here without an address?" Switzerland said confused. Romania smiled " the power of friendship is magical!"

"That has nothing to do with what I asked at all!" was Switzerland's response.

"Do you want to hear some damn answers or not ?" Romania snapped.

"fine" Switzerland mumbled.

"okay" Romania said before taking a breath "This is all a fanfiction made by some crazy person with too much time on their hands"

"Really?" was all Austria could say.

"Hell No!" Romania laughed " England casted some spell, and it turned out wrong making everyone go crazy some less than others'

"and that makes hell of a lot more sense than a crack fic?" Switzerland sarcastically responded.

"yup" giggled Romania.

"so why are some of us more saine than others?" Austria asked.

"Well" Romania tapped his chin "Switzerland's neutrality, your stoicness, Japan's too weird, and Lithuania the universe hates you"

"Thats a given" Lithuania said " But what about Poland?" Everyone turned to look at Poland, who was bending a fork with his mind.

"I have no idea" Romania admitted "anyway you must all take this ring of awesome" he hands the ring to Switzerland. "Then you drop it into the fires of Mt. St. Helens and . . ." Switzerland gives him a glare

"No we're not doing a ring journey analogy! do we look like a fellowship?"

Romania gave a dramatic laugh "no I was just fucking with you guys, you have to go to Italy's place, find a magic journal and destroy it. Some directions should appear to tell you what to do next"

"Really?" Lithuania asked "Will it actually work?" Romania paused

"I'm not sure but hey it's worth a try" he then promptly kicked them out of his shop. The shop then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

**Meanwhile in Soviet Russia**

Soviet Russia writes fanfic of you!

**In Prussia**

"I am awesome all will bow down to my awesomeness"

**In other news Nordics**

Iceland sat in his home looking out the window over the ocean "I wonder what's going on down there?" he said to himself

End of chapter 2


	3. Chap 3 Explosive Sandwich gun

_**Author's note: I do not own hetalia thanks for all your reviews, favs and follows**_

**Nation insanity chapter 3 **

**A Explosive sandwich gun**

The sun was high within the sky, the air warm as our group of adventurers traveled through a forest.

"Guys, can we like stop? I'm like getting all sweaty and stuff!" Poland whined.

"I agree, we should take a break." Japan said, out of breath.

"Fine. Pull out the tent from thin air." Switzerland said as he looked at Lithuania.

"Okay." Lithuania pulled out the tent.

"I have nothing to say about that." Japan kept a straight face. A large cracking sound was heard.

"What the hell was that?!" Switzerland exclaimed, pulling out his gun.

Austria gaped. "Where the hell are you getting that from?!"

Switzerland stared at him. "That is a question for another time." They all walked over to the source of the sound.

"Guys I'm like stuck like ohmygodgetmedownnow!" came from the tree, in Poland's voice.

"You have got to fucking kidding me, I pulled out my gun for _nothing_?!" Switzerland huffed, he walked back toward the tent. A pair of hands from behind a bush grabbed him pulling him in.

Back near the tree, Japan felt an odd feeling.

"Guys I think something is up with Switzerland" he said looking around as Poland then fell out of the tree onto Lithuania.

"Oh, thanks for breaking my fall Lithy!" Poland said as he got up.

"No problem, I think I might have broken a rib but that's no worry, I'll just walk it off or slowly bleed to death." He said, pain clearly in his voice.

Austria ignored them. "Do you think its something deadly?" He asked Japan

Japan furrowed his brow. "I just have this weird feeling that something's up. Like a, uh, a . . ."

"A Japan sense?" Poland giggled he then added on. "Or like a romantic connection?"

"I thought we swore to never speak of it again, like a big lipped alligator moment?" Japan exclaimed. "Now we have to keep referencing it until it becomes a bad overused joke!"

"Back on topic." Austria interrupted "We should go see if Switzerland is at the tent."

Lithuania was still on the ground "Guys, I think I can't move my legs. Guys?" After a bit of struggling, (and pain) he eventually got up. "Wait up! Please don't leave me! The universe will do me in!" Lithuania ran until he caught up with the group. "What's going on guys?"

Japan turned toward them holding Switzerland's gun. "I found this in the bushes."

Austria paused a moment before responding. "I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

"GAH!" Japan almost dropped the gun

"Hey guys, like, look at what I like found!" Poland yelled as he held up a piece of paper. "It like, says property of Belgium, the future ruler of Europe, like what a kook"

Lithuania sighed. "We can't give up on the mission some one has the get the journal"

"We split up." Austria said logically. "You and Poland go get the journal, while Japan and me go get Switzerland."

"Why?" Japan asked.

"It just popped out of my head." Austria said, a little confused.

**IN AMERICA!**

America was still watching TV while eating.

**Meanwhile in Ca...who?**

"Haha! I've finally done it!" Canada exclaimed while he pulled out a beaker filled with smoking green liquid. He then took the liquid, and dumped it all over himself. "There, that should work." He happily walked off, until he heard it.

"KolKolKolKolKol!"

**Back In Fantasy land**

It's raining men!

**I mean Back in Europe!**

Japan and Austria stood outside Belgium's base of operations.

"Well, this is it." Austria said

"Well, I only found a crate of sandwiches, a barrel of dynamite, and a wad of monopoly money." Japan said while pulling out those objects.

Austria looked down at them. "Not what I had in mind but workable, I just found this roll of duct tape." He pulled it out.

It was like a frightening, acid nightmare for Switzerland. Belgium kept repeating over and over "Become one with the Union!" Then a loud bang echoed stopping the torture.

"Not so fa-. . . OH FORGET IT PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" Austria surprisingly yelled, " I HAVE AN EXPLOSIVE SANDWICH GUN AND NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT!"

Switzerland looked at him. "Wait, what?"

"I WILL NEVER SURRENDER, ALL WILL BECOME ONE WITH THE EUROPEAN UNION!" Belgium launched herself at Austria.

Austria kept what little cool he had left. "Japan, use necessary force!" Japan nodded and knocked out Belgium with a crate. "Easier than I thought." Austria said as he went down to Switzerland.

"What took you guys so long?" Switzerland asked.

"We were going to send rescue goats but the ASPCA had a problem with it" Austria stated.

"Well I can't untie myself stupid face!" Switzerland responded while glaring at Austria.

Austria paused for a moment. "Stupid face?" He then continued to untie Switzerland.

Switzerland pouted "Yeah it's your new nickname, stupid face!" Austria finished untying Switzerland, unfortunately, Belgium began to stir.

"Run!" they all yelled while jumping out a broken window. Japan ended up getting stuck "Go on without me!" He said, while closing his eyes.

"That doesn't work." Switzerland commented before offering his hand.

"Oh wow." Japan said as he accepted the hand and was pulled out.

"Hey stupid face! now what do we do? " Switzerland asked.

Austria sighed and then said "We go back to camp and wait for Poland and Lithuania to return."

_**Authors notes: ok many things happened in this chapter there is some stuff I would like to go over. The European union thing Belgium was going on about, well this is what I know please let me know if anything is wrong. Belgium is one of the founding nations for the union. Now onto the EU's relationship with Switzerland, all i can say is it is a complicated and delicate bunch of treaties in which it would take too long to explain look it up for futher info. the joke itself was made when me and a friend looked at the EU map. also switzerland did apply but was rejected later elections on whether to apply rejected the idea. Attack goats are not my idea i'm not sure where they came from I have a poor memory. The stupid face thing? Well I forgot the episode but I think it's when Austria, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein are at the store, english dub. Whew sorry here! read and review!**_

_**From my editor: Also, big lipped alligator is from nostalgia critic :P **_


	4. Chapter 4 Technical Difficulties

**Nation insanity Chapter 4 **

**Technical difficulties**

**Within Egypt**

For some odd reason Egypt felt angry, he just couldn't hold in his anger any longer. Unfortunately Spain had picked the wrong moment, and place to dress up, and act like a table. Egypt screamed in sudden anger as he flipped table-spain.

**In other news; Oceania **

New Zealand sat huddled in a corner "DON'T FEED THE SHEEP!" The kiwi yelled. Australia stared at New Zealand, unsure of what to say.

**Back to Plot**

"Leit?" Poland asked while looking around the dark forest they were currently in.

"What?" Lithuania responded.

"I like, think we're like lost." Poland continued to look around the forest.

"Crap! Austria might have rubbed off on me." Lithuania said. "Hold on I'll pull out a map." He pulled it out and stared at it. "Wrong map!" He sighed as he hunched over.

"Like, this story, like, sucks." Poland said while staring at the ground. "We'll never like, get on TV tropes!"

Suddenly, Romania came crashing through the bushes. He got up and brushed himself off saying "Note to self; believing you can fly, and doing it are two different things." He said aloud, not paying attention to his surroundings.

"Oh, like, hi, strange vampire guy!" Poland waved happily.

Romania turned around. "I HAVE NO DRUGS! YOU HAVE NO PROOF! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!" He screamed as he ran away. Lithuania's eye twitched, Poland squinted looking past a tree "Hey I can see Italy's house from here!"

The following has been interrupted by Prussia, lord of awesome.

"My awesomeness has the power to make you all bow down. I suggest you all bow down and worship me like the awesome god I am! Oh and respect my five meters of awesome!"

This has been a public service announcement from Prussia god of awesome, you may return to your un-awesome story.

_We are experiencing some technical difficulties in your programing so please enjoy this filler._

_**The wacky adventures of the Nordics**_

"Hny 'm hm." Sweden said while opening the door and taking off his hat and coat.

"Thats great I just put the fish in oven!" Finland said while taking off his oven mitts. Then there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." Finland said while hurrying to the door. He opened it to Denmark, who was being strangled by Norway.

"I swore, I heard sitcom canned laughter?" Norway said, looking confused before letting go of Denmark. Then there was this burnt smell in the air.

"Oh no, the fish!" Finland scrambled to the kitchen to check on said fish. It was charred black, and unrecognizable.

"It's amazing what five minutes can do to food!" Denmark commented, before laughing. They all laughed, then cried, then laughed again.

_Now back to your scheduled program _

Lithuania and Poland made their way up the driveway, to the dark house.

Lithuania turned to Poland. "Okay here's the plan: I'm going to find a large branch and. . ." Then Poland pointed at that moment to the open window.

"Or we could do that." Lithuania said while following Poland inside. There was darkness, with little light from the window. Paintings were everywhere and even a few odd sculptures littered the living room floor. There, sitting upon a desk, was a journal next to a stack of letters. Lithuania picked up a few of the letters. After wincing at some of the foul language he saw, he set them down. Then he picked up the journal. "Poland!" He whispered loudly looking around to see where Poland had went. He found him raiding the fridge. "Come on, let's go! We'll have time for that later!"

"Ok." Poland said, closing the door and following Lithuania outside. "That was, like, easy!"

"Too easy!" Lithuania paused at stared at the journal, which had some strange energy radiating from it.

_**We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating**_

"Guys, we're back" Lithuania called to the glowing campfire in the woods.

"It's about time, I thought I might have had to start caring about you." Switzerland said.

Austria glanced at Poland for a moment then thought "Is it just me or is the writer being lazy? But what the heck are we wearing?" Both Japan and Switzerland looked down. Switzerland had a puzzled expression

"Somehow, our military uniforms!" He looked back up.

"That makes no sense." Austria commented "We ran away after just waking up!"

"Maybe when Poland ripped the continuum?" Japan offered.

Lithuania looked annoyed and gestured to the journal as he exclaimed "Guys, got the journal!" Everyone else gave him a blank expression.

"We'll read it tomorrow." Switzerland said before turning back to the fire.

**One last joke in Turkey**

Turkey ran into the restroom. "Finally! I get to pee after all this time!" Then, a giant meteor crashed, destroying the restroom, leaving Turkey unscathed. "Awe come on! Screw you universe!" Just then a cascade of rain came down upon Turkey, complete with a waterfall.

_**(A/N) sorry its so short and it took a while I had to do some re-editing. I recommend Tv tropes for those who like media or just bored, be wary it's addicting. not much to say I own none of the shout outs or hetalia itself. hope you enjoyed read and review if there is anything wrong let me know flames not appreciated! have a nice day! **_


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